Pass the barf bag, please

I feel nauseous. In fact, I just threw up a bit in my mouth.
Mr B is kissing ass like you wouldn’t believe.

But, well done, Mr B. You do what you gotta do.

Rejected

Mr Baskerville has just had a horrible shock. The newspaper he 'works' for has created a Facebook site, and although his co-workers have been friended, he has not!

Is this a sign that a pink slip is approaching? Should he start looking for work? Should he maybe start doing actual work now, instead of posting?

He is reeling from this rejection, and can only think about beer.

Things are looking up

I would like to announce that I have received the cheque, mentioned in an earlier post, today!
The client said she sent the cheque on June 4, and it arrived on August 24. I conclude that it takes 11 weeks for a piece of mail to make it from Burnaby to Vancouver.

I will promptly spend my earnings at the same establishment that issued my cheque. If I properly new what ironic meant, I may have or may have not used it in the following sentence. I am drunk.

Ruralizing

Mr Baskerville has been in the country for a few days. He learned various things during his sojouorn:

1) the country smells of poo
2) people in small towns loooooooove to talk about the weather
3) there are no Starbucks
4) horses have very soft lips (not as dodgy as it sounds, that one...)

it is also ideal for napping.

A New Low

Mrs Eaves just caught herself on YouTube. If that wasn't bad enough, she then caught herself typing in 'baby panda' and proceeding to watch numerous videos.

Two conclusions can be made.

1. Baby pandas are very sweet.
2. Mrs E has hit a new low.

Unbelievable

I am shocked to find there is no positing from Mr B after the day we've had.

5

more minutes.

ennui pt II

Mister Baskerville
yawns, would like to nap and is
too bored to haiku

3

The number of jobs I have applied to today while at work.

Busted

I was just busted printing off my resumé at work. I did not time the printing well. But the good news is, I have applied to one job today, and it’s only 9:05am! If I am going down, I am going down prepared.

abbreviated haiku

WTF,
OMFG, LOL!
I heart TLAs

apathetic haiku

ennui, apathy,
mind-numbing tedium: O
I must take a nap

Holiday

No one cares about your holiday, so shut it.

Mr. B, we have a problem

I am so bored and uninspired that I can't even write an entry.

QUIZ - The Cheque is in the Mail

A client of mine who owes me money told me on July 5, 2010 that 'the cheque is in the mail'. Then again, upon follow-up, on August 4, 2010, 'the cheque is in the mail'.

What day will I actually receive the cheque?

HINT: The distance between the client and I is 10-15km.

Tightarse Publisher

The publisher here has now cancelled our milk and tea. Tea!!! Mr Baskerville cannot work without tea.

If they really wanted to save money here, they'd cancel the publisher.

Mr B is pissed off...and thirsty.

drunken haiku

Haiku! Sounds like sneeze:
but very complicated
use of thesaurus

Looking for lurve

I am requesting any helpful hints, from all of our readers, about how I can find a lovely man. And by lovely, I mean a man without strange 'grooming' requests.
Thank you in advance!

Nice try, Mr. B

Mr. B just emailed me asking if he should open another bottle of wine, or have a cup of tea instead. He asked that I advice ASAP. Nice try, Mr B, I know you already opened it, and have consumed at least half the bottle by now.

Mr B, should I eat more candy or grab a mushy red apple instead?

Untimely

A fly has just drowned in Mr Baskerville's wine. What a way to go. Mr B would be glad to die so well, doing what he loves.

Don't Eat Poo

WARNING: If you eat dog poo, even by accident, you run the risk of acquiring parasites. You run this risk if you eat human poo as well.

disgrunteld haiku

Financial cutbacks:
other people's teethmarks on
recycled pencils

Who knew?

Brazilian is not a language. They don't speak Brazilian in Brazil.
Mrs Eaves has a lot of reading to do tonight.

Quiz

Bored or pissed off at work today? Mr Baskerville has prepared a quiz to enliven your day.

Below are some of the things Mr B has done while at work. Scarily, only ONE of them is false. Which one?


a) mastered the Art of Starbursts

b) planned a trans-Asia road trip

c) created 73 templates for one crappy newspaper

d) read War and Peace

e) won an award

f) drunk gallons of tea

g) found the perfect chocolate-chip cookie recipe

h) learned Russian


A fabulous prize is available for the winner! Enter today, you won't be disappointed!!

I am back, here I am

Things I was doing while I was away:
Napping
Drinking
Eating
Watching TV
Planning how to get loads of money fast
Trying to learn how to sleep with my eyes open
Trying to laugh often and really loud at work
Trying, unsuccessfully, to start my second career

Crappy Mondays

Mr Baskerville is having a crappy Monday. 

He and his department were recently told off for laughing. The publisher seems to think that we are incapable of slapping a starburst into an ad while having a laugh. Mind you, the publisher would be hard pressed to walk and chew gum simultaneously.

And to think, Mr B very nearly called in sick this morning but was prevented by a sense of duty. He'll never rmake that mistake again.