Sick Transit

Mr Baskerville takes public transport - not because he is arsed about his carbon footprint, but because he likes a drink or several after work. 

He recently witnessed a young man, laden down with plastic bags, get on the bus. This man put these bags down then casually reached into the back of his trousers and withdrew a block of cheese. A large block, about the size of a brick.

Arse cheese. Shoplifted arse cheese.

Mr Baskerville has gone right off cheese toasties.