TOP TIPS FOR STRIKING
1. When picketing outdoors, put on sun block! I wish it was hot, I could work on my tan, while picketing. Better yet, don't go on strike unless it's summer.
2. There seems to be lots of free food around.*
Eat, eat more, stuff it down your throat. Who knows when your next meal will be? Eat everything you see. Then drink the water, tea and coffee. It tastes like hell, but drink it.
3. If there is a handsome guy on the lines, talk to him. Time goes by much faster when looking at a cute boy.
4. Get a dog.
5. When someone asks you how you are, answer 'hanging in' while tilting head. That seems to be the correct answer while picketing.
6. EAT the donuts. This is not the time to calorie count.
7. When you run into your coworkers, walk with them. Then find a way to get back to the cute man. He's much more interesting.
8. Wear long undies. It may not be cold, but after hour four, it's freakin' freezing.
*But chili? really? It's 1.5 km to the closest washroom.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Striker's Journal - Entry I
I had many questions about a picket line that I published earlier this month. After a day on the lines, I can answer them.
What happens on a picket line?
You walk back and forth. Do not stop too long, you will get cold.
What do picketers talk about?
The strike, how one is surviving, people we like, people we hate.
Will there be fire in a metal garbage can to warm our hands over?
There was no fire today.
Will there be irate citizens throwing stuff out of cars at us?
No one threw anything thing at us today. Someone shouted some pretty nasty things from his passing pick up truck. There were a handful of F bombs.
Will we yell obscenities at people who cross the lines?
No. We smiled and waved at one of our bosses crossing the lines.
Do I need to make my own sign?
No, not aloud to make own sign.
Should I put glitter on it?
Perhaps glitter can be added to a union-made sign? I will inquire tomorrow.
What happens on a picket line?
You walk back and forth. Do not stop too long, you will get cold.
What do picketers talk about?
The strike, how one is surviving, people we like, people we hate.
Will there be fire in a metal garbage can to warm our hands over?
There was no fire today.
Will there be irate citizens throwing stuff out of cars at us?
No one threw anything thing at us today. Someone shouted some pretty nasty things from his passing pick up truck. There were a handful of F bombs.
Will we yell obscenities at people who cross the lines?
No. We smiled and waved at one of our bosses crossing the lines.
Do I need to make my own sign?
No, not aloud to make own sign.
Should I put glitter on it?
Perhaps glitter can be added to a union-made sign? I will inquire tomorrow.
One more day
Mr Baskerville has only one more day at work, before he can take random naps and always wear pyjamas.
No drama yet, sadly. No one weeping, begging the HR woman to reinstate their favourite person. No accolades, no praise. And even worse, no cake.
All he has seen is Sales people trying to get him to do future ads (fuck off, lady, if he is not working here, he's not preparing an ad) and Editorial people whining about how much work they will now have to do (fuck off, lady, at least you still have a job).
He should clean his desk, dust etc, but he really cannot be arsed.
No drama yet, sadly. No one weeping, begging the HR woman to reinstate their favourite person. No accolades, no praise. And even worse, no cake.
All he has seen is Sales people trying to get him to do future ads (fuck off, lady, if he is not working here, he's not preparing an ad) and Editorial people whining about how much work they will now have to do (fuck off, lady, at least you still have a job).
He should clean his desk, dust etc, but he really cannot be arsed.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Pulling
There is a lovely elderly woman in my apartment building. She is very sweet, and uses a walker, and is very confused about who lives behind my door.
A couple of weeks ago, I was in my apartment having lunch. I heard the door knob turn, and to my surprise, the elderly woman just walked right in. Our eyes met, she said 'oh dear, oh, so sorry, I thought this was the garbage shoot.', then she closed the door and walked away.
This past week, she has knocked on my door three times to 'give a man a paper'. The first time I answered, and she said. 'So sorry, I thought a man lived here and I promised him the newspaper.'
The second time, I answered the door with the phone to my ear. She whispered, 'oh, sorry, I thought a man lived here'. I saw the newspaper on her walker seat.
The third time, I did not answer because I was napping. Then found a sticky note under the door. It said, 'I have a paper for you, I am in apt $%#.' So I went over to her apartment to return the sticky note and to explain that she has the wrong apartment. She asked me if I knew 'where the elderly man lives'. Sadly, I do not.
I think she has a crush on the 'elderly man'. She has promised him the paper, and is making huge efforts to see that he receives it. How sweet is she? He better appreciate her and be nice to her, or I will be pissed.
A couple of weeks ago, I was in my apartment having lunch. I heard the door knob turn, and to my surprise, the elderly woman just walked right in. Our eyes met, she said 'oh dear, oh, so sorry, I thought this was the garbage shoot.', then she closed the door and walked away.
This past week, she has knocked on my door three times to 'give a man a paper'. The first time I answered, and she said. 'So sorry, I thought a man lived here and I promised him the newspaper.'
The second time, I answered the door with the phone to my ear. She whispered, 'oh, sorry, I thought a man lived here'. I saw the newspaper on her walker seat.
The third time, I did not answer because I was napping. Then found a sticky note under the door. It said, 'I have a paper for you, I am in apt $%#.' So I went over to her apartment to return the sticky note and to explain that she has the wrong apartment. She asked me if I knew 'where the elderly man lives'. Sadly, I do not.
I think she has a crush on the 'elderly man'. She has promised him the paper, and is making huge efforts to see that he receives it. How sweet is she? He better appreciate her and be nice to her, or I will be pissed.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Contumelios
Mr B has just signed his demob papers. He is free, free!!!!! Or will be in 4 more working days.
One of the conditions is that he agrees not to make disparaging remarks about the company.
As if!
He would never disparage the lovely and talented HR manager, not make cutting or sarcastic remarks about said manager's ability. Nor would he be contemptuous, or snide. And he would never even consider belittling the publisher's business acumen. Honest he wouldn't.
One of the conditions is that he agrees not to make disparaging remarks about the company.
As if!
He would never disparage the lovely and talented HR manager, not make cutting or sarcastic remarks about said manager's ability. Nor would he be contemptuous, or snide. And he would never even consider belittling the publisher's business acumen. Honest he wouldn't.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Hard Working
My resume says I am 'hard working'. In interviews, I claim to be 'hard working'. However, it sure doesn't feel like I have been working hard this year (more like hardly working). The good news is, scheduled naps are back. Today I missed my nap, and I feel all confused now. I must go to bed early...no wait, sleep in extra late tomorrow to compensate.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Alexandria
Mr Baskerville has only 7 more working days till he is sacked, or, as he likes to think, free. During those 7 days he is of course expected to perform all his duties as normal, working to tight deadlines in a busy work environment (haha).
Part of his duties consist of designing newspaper colour sections. He uses photos from a photo library for this.
Imagine his surprise, therefore, when he could no longer log on! He informed the help desk, and was told that the publisher (loyal reader may recall publisher cannot find her arse with both hands) has already cancelled Mr B's library login.
Words fail him (perhaps luckily).
Part of his duties consist of designing newspaper colour sections. He uses photos from a photo library for this.
Imagine his surprise, therefore, when he could no longer log on! He informed the help desk, and was told that the publisher (loyal reader may recall publisher cannot find her arse with both hands) has already cancelled Mr B's library login.
Words fail him (perhaps luckily).
Monday, March 21, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Professionalism
Update!
Mr B's HR department is even MORE unprofessional...the HR woman has a meeting with all downsized staff today, and instead of preparing for this meeting, is sitting, uninvited, in the production department to eat her lunch.
She is Sheentastic.
FFS.
Mr B's HR department is even MORE unprofessional...the HR woman has a meeting with all downsized staff today, and instead of preparing for this meeting, is sitting, uninvited, in the production department to eat her lunch.
She is Sheentastic.
FFS.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Keep Smilin'!
One of my biggest pet peeves is when people write 'Keep Smilin'!' or 'Chin up!' or 'IT is what you make of it!' bullshit when I tell them less then ideal news in an email. How is that helpful? Why do I need to 'keep smilin'? Why can't I be pissed, annoyed, sad, grumpy, tired and worried? Give me money, and I will smile.
Book Review: The Aeneid
Huh, Mr B has only just learned how to spell Aeneid. Who knew it had only one 'a' in the title? And he still can't pronounce it.
Also, Mr B wouldn't recognize a dactylic hexameter if he tripped over one in the street.
Anyway....
Virgil is not Mr B's favourite Roman poet, but The Aeneid moves right along. Shagging, fighting, drinking...great stuff. If only Virgil was not so po-faced. Mr B, as his readers would expect, is a huge fan of Catullus and Ovid.
The plot: defeated Trojans get the last laugh and found the Roman Empire. haha, fuck you, Greeks!
Aeneas, faithless bastard, shags then abandons Dido. Dido stabs herself in a fit of pique. Aeneas & co sail around the Med until they find Italy.
Aeneas's son whines for a bit then precociously learns how to chuck spears. Mr B has forgotten his name, sorry, but just imagine he's played by Wesley Crusher.
Native Italians are defeated. The faithless bastard is given a princess bride.
The end.
Also, Mr B wouldn't recognize a dactylic hexameter if he tripped over one in the street.
Anyway....
Virgil is not Mr B's favourite Roman poet, but The Aeneid moves right along. Shagging, fighting, drinking...great stuff. If only Virgil was not so po-faced. Mr B, as his readers would expect, is a huge fan of Catullus and Ovid.
The plot: defeated Trojans get the last laugh and found the Roman Empire. haha, fuck you, Greeks!
Aeneas, faithless bastard, shags then abandons Dido. Dido stabs herself in a fit of pique. Aeneas & co sail around the Med until they find Italy.
Aeneas's son whines for a bit then precociously learns how to chuck spears. Mr B has forgotten his name, sorry, but just imagine he's played by Wesley Crusher.
Native Italians are defeated. The faithless bastard is given a princess bride.
The end.
Inconsiderate Bastards
As you know, Mr Baskerville has been downsized. 21 sleeps then he's out...or, more like, 42 if he includes naps.
The atmosphere in the production department is downbeat, to say the least. So why, for the love of God, do salespeople come in here gloating about their recent sales? Why??? The silence which greeted the most recent gloat was profound.
Have they forgotten the 'discocunts' episode?
Cross us at your peril.
The atmosphere in the production department is downbeat, to say the least. So why, for the love of God, do salespeople come in here gloating about their recent sales? Why??? The silence which greeted the most recent gloat was profound.
Have they forgotten the 'discocunts' episode?
Cross us at your peril.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
April Fool
Mr Baskerville was informed his last day at work is April 1. Frighteningly appropriate.
There was a meeting today. Tempers were lost. Voices raised. Sadly, hilarity did not ensue.
Would it be actionable to say that, allegedly, the HR person at Mr B's work is even less professional than Charlie Sheen? Because of course if it is actionable, Mr B will retract the allegation.
Mr B is considering studying law, so he can blog without fear.
There was a meeting today. Tempers were lost. Voices raised. Sadly, hilarity did not ensue.
Would it be actionable to say that, allegedly, the HR person at Mr B's work is even less professional than Charlie Sheen? Because of course if it is actionable, Mr B will retract the allegation.
Mr B is considering studying law, so he can blog without fear.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Strike!
What happens on a picket line? What do picketers talk about? Will there be fire in a metal garbage can to warm our hands over? Will there be irate citizens throwing stuff out of cars at us? Will we yell obscenities at people who cross the lines? Do I need to make my own sign? Should I put glitter on it?
All of these questions will be answered in my 'Striker's Journal: News from the lines'. You can find it published here, next week, or not at all.
All of these questions will be answered in my 'Striker's Journal: News from the lines'. You can find it published here, next week, or not at all.
Out of Work
Mr B has taken the buy-out (2 1/2 hour commute plus demotion? how tempting...but no) and will soon be unemployed. But how soon? Well, the HR department is thus far unable to tell him. Could be in 2 weeks, could be in a month...could be tomorrow.
Thanks, HR. This makes it so much easier to plan for the future.
This would be unbelievable as a sit-com plot. 'No-one could be this inept,' viewers would protest. 'We will change the channel immediately.'
Thanks, HR. This makes it so much easier to plan for the future.
This would be unbelievable as a sit-com plot. 'No-one could be this inept,' viewers would protest. 'We will change the channel immediately.'
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