Cover letter (1)

Mr B found a job online which looks interesting. Possibly, the elusive Top Job. However, as you all know, he worked at a newspaper for years, and therefore is alarmed by these requirement from the job ad:

"work that demonstrates creative flair...proven experience applying theories related to colour schemes, use of space, text placement, usability...visual flow...extend existing brands..."

Basically, Mr B's long experience has left him with a portfolio containing no creative flair whatsoever, pretty much in black and white, and full of ads just stuffed with text and starbursts.

So what should he write in his cover letter? Perhaps:

"my long experience in the publishing industry has enabled me to develop my skills in creating starbursts, and the use of horizontal scale allows me to cram all the client's insane copy into a tiny, unreadable space. Visual flow has long been a passion of mine, as is clearly demonstrated in my favourite client, Killarney Market. I leave my work to speak for itself."

So, who thinks Top Job will call as soon as they get Mr B's application?