Useful Advice

Mr B, while flummoxed that he has not yet found Top Job, has decided to share some of his valuable career-procuring knowledge with his reader. Top Tips for the Top Job, if you will.

While noodling on-line, seeking Top Job, he found the following paragraph in a job description:

"We reward self-starters, firecrackers, collaborators and life enthusiasts. We can’t abide stagnancy or bureaucracy. We thrive on change and ambitious goals. Join our team!"

Now, Mr B is as ambitious as the next man* but this statement confused him. First, WTF is a 'firecracker' in this case? A person who exhibits sudden wild bursts of energy, then collapses? A person with a lot of bright ideas, which inevitably fizzle out into dull grey mediocrity? Mr B does not want to work with firecrackers, either the stuffed-with-gunpowder type or the cheerful, bubbly personality type. They would Annoy him.

Also, 'collaborators'? Surely that was the name given to those aiding the Nazis in occupied Europe? Mr B will however concede that language changes over time, and will move on. After all, no-one says 'gadzooks' anymore, either.

But 'life enthusiasts'???? I mean, really?? Is the company saying that, while they are non-discriminatory, they do not want suicidal applicants? And is 'life enthusiasm' a career, or simply a hobby or interest? Is there a certificate programme? And can one display one's enthusiasm for life in an interview situation by wearing a novelty tie? Gadzooks, this is Annoying.

*if said man is sitting in a pub