Cover Letter (part 2)

Mr Baskerville was looking for the elusive Top Job again* today. He hasn't found it yet, but did find a Graphic Designer job which included the following:

If you are very driven, ambitious and hardworking individual, we would love to meet you.

Clearly, we are all pretending that we are hardworking, driven blah blah blah. Surely that's a given, in fact, considering we** are actively seeking work. The unspoken assumption is that we are all hardworking etc. Isn't it the equivalent to saying "if you have a heartbeat, and an IQ of 25 or over, we would love to meet you"?

Though Mr B would love to find an actual realistic job requirement. Something along the lines of:

If you are willing to work for crappy wages, and will accept random enforced overtime, and will endure your racist homophobic boss without smacking him in the gob, then send us your resume.

And he would love, for once, to send in an honest cover letter. For instance:

I would like to apply for the position of Graphic Designer. I am barely qualified for the post, as I am neither driven nor ambitious. In fact, I much prefer calling in sick and spending the day lounging on the couch, drinking and reading. However I will make the effort until the probationary period is over. Call me!

* though, why the fuck does he bother?
** ie, everyone actually reading the job boards (unless some people just read them for entertainment)***
*** and these people are either being smug (in that they already have a job) or being smug (in that they are retired). Mr B hates smug bastards, though he longs to be one himself