The Writing Life: Mistakes to Avoid - Wine

Mr Baskerville, because he's such a people person, is offering advice for writers. Writing advice on the internets, you say? Almost as rare as pictures of cats.

Please note, Mr Baskerville is not a published writer, in fact he's still in the middle of writing his novel. He has made many* mistakes in his own writing process. Fuck it, he frequently makes mistakes in his tweets.

So why take advice from Mr Baskerville? This: use Mr Baskerville as a horrible warning. Simply read about his process, and do the reverse!

In Vino Veritas

Truth in wine...this is a lie. Mr Baskerville loves wine. Love in fact is not a strong enough verb to describe Mr B's relationship with the divine grape. Perhaps obsessed would be more accurate** verb. And we all know, verbs are the heartbeat of the sentence!***

But while Mr Baskerville was convinced that wine and writing went together like cheese and toast, they in fact go together like fish and bicycles. Mr Baskerville has written thousands of words while sipping from his pint glass. Perhaps millions!

But when re-read in the cold light of day, these words did not sparkle on the page like a pansy-ass vampire. No, they read like cheerful drunken rambling full of conversation but very little plot.

The only way wine and writing will combine successfully for Mr Baskerville is if every reader is handed a large glass of grenache with every chapter.


*oh, so very many
**Mr Baskerville's obsession with wine is similar to Henry VIII's obsession with begetting a male heir, only with fewer beheadings
***actual writing advice, but Mr B did not coin that phrase. He'd credit whoever did if he could remember, or be arsed to look it up.